Japan Rocks 2006

Aug 31, 2006. JAPAN ROCKS!

I thought long and hard about this and I have decided to tell everyone about our trip to Japan in a neat orderly fashion. No fancy cuts to the middle then back to the front like confusing mystery stories. So let me begin with: WEDNESDAY We drove the kids out to Poway and said goodbye to them. They could not care less because they had a pool in front of them, which easily replaced us. We drove home and did Massive packing procedures. I had a duffle bag and 2 suitcases. 1 suitcase was full of expendables. A cardboard box, tape, scissors bubble wrap, snacks and 12 bottles of water (Robin packed TAB). Chris had a duffle also and 1 suitcase packed inside another bigger one. Because of a serious lack of time due to Comic-Con ending only 3 days earlier, I had pretty much made the decision not to go to sleep until I had completed all my tasks. At 3 a.m. I passed out.

THURSDAY At 5:45 we awoke to banging at our door. I shot out of bed like a cannon ball and unlocked the front door. Our Damn Alarm Did Not Go Off! I was packed but we both needed to wash up a bit. Robin is notoriously on time and I am always 10 minutes late. This time it was not my fault but I did not feel any better about it. We got out of the house in record time and drove to LAX to park the car. At "Park Place" used their shuttle to get us to the Airport. ("Park Place" ended up sucking in the end but that is a tale 10 days away). Did fairly well at the Airport with luggage and waiting around, but I do not recommend a 10 1/2 hour flight to anyone. God that SUCKED! We had a farting Ninja in our section of the plane. One fart was so bad that it woke me up. We never figured out who it was but I wish them ill if they weren't already. United Airlines did show a lot of movies and serve a lot of food on the flight. That part was good. Vence booked us seats on the Airport Limousine. The nicest bus I have ever been on! For $30 each they pick up a busload of people and drop them off at their hotels. Much like Denver, Japan's Airport is very far away from the city. We head in toward the city and there is nothing around but trees. Until I see on my right 2 hotels: the First Wood and Rainbow. First Wood Hotel Rainbow Hotel I thought it said "Morning Wood" and that woke me up a bit. I started to look at all the buildings we eventually passed on our hour-long trek. There is hardly a boring building in the whole dang country. Interesting or pretty or ugly the Japanese want their stuff to stand out in some small way. Building Building Building

We stayed at the Grand Hyatt Hotel in Roppongi Hills. It was the best Hyatt I have ever stayed in. Hell it was the best hotel I have ever stayed in! US places tend to under-staff their businesses. Not in Japan. They over-staff their businesses. Service Service Service. Besides a great view in a beautiful room we had The Toilet. The push button super toilets the Japanese are famous for. The seat was heated. It made sound effects to cover up any sounds I might be making. I had 3 different twat rinse cycles. That'92s right I said twat rinse! The Bidet is the greatest toilet invention EVER! I came out of the bathroom and rolled around laughing for minutes afterwards. (I have got to see how much those things cost here in San Diego. I know Mitsuwa sells them). The Roppongi Hills Grand Hyatt is directly connected to the Roppongi Hills Mall. Robin and I immediately scouted out the area and did not find anything that we wanted. But we did find 1 of many stores with crazy names. White Trash Charms was very expensive & we moved along. White Trash Charms Roppongi Shops Roppongi Area Roppongi View

FRIDAY I would just like to say that starting your period with massive cramps on the first day of your dream vacation bites the big one. But fuck it I was going out. So heavily medicated I joined the gang for a super early wander through the Fish Market, a super cool experience that everyone should view. Robin and Vence don't even like fish and they enjoyed it. I grew up around Anthony's Fish Market, my Father moonlighted there, but I have never seen so many fish that I had could not identify. I also did not realize how huge Tuna really are. Many of the sea creatures were still moving. Fresh fish do not smell bad so that was a happy circumstance. Warning, the forklift drivers are maniacs. It is a wonder we did not get run over. But no matter how fast they went there was never an accident. Tuna Fish Octopus

We took a cab to the New Otani Tower Hotel. They have a buffet breakfast on the 40th floor. The food was good, but the view was spectacular. Otani View

We planned to go to the Ginza district that morning to shop. We had to wait around in a coffee shop for things to open. Things don't open early in Tokyo. Tokyo seemed to run from 11a.m. to 2a.m. We were up and ready to shop, but no one else was. This is a fact we could not get into our thick skulls until the last day. We were awake why wasn't everyone else, dang it? While we waited in the coffee shop I noticed the floor was a gorgeous looking cherry wood done in diagonal lines. A lot of the places had great floors. I hardly ever notice a floor, but they kind of stood out like the buildings. Floor Coffee Shop View Giraffe

Robin and I went to the evil Itoya Stationary store. Which tried to suck money out of my wallet every time I turned around. But the big winner for the day was Toy Park. It was 4 floors up and a separate floor down. Let's just say that Robin and I bought so much that the cashier took us to the customs free line. I got a little ticket in my passport and everything.

Stereotypes debunked. The Japanese kids we saw were well behaved. Only 1 kid out of an entire toy store acted up. As you can imagine Robin and I were in EVERY toy store in the country, so I know what I am talking about. Meanwhile at home, I can't even get from the parking lot to the door of Target before some brat starts catterwaullin'92.

The cabs are like mid-size Toyotas. They are the biggest car on the road. All the other cars & trucks are tiny. We saw 2 SUV's the whole time we were there. It was great! The SUV's were work vehicles. I would love to have one of their small cars, but I would be crushed here in the US. The freeways are a nightmare to navigate. They are multi-level winding things that reminded me of a loose Slinky. Scooter Van Car Carousel Elevator

Under the Roppongi Hills Mall is the Roppongi Hills Station, where we caught Train after glorious Train. Not at first. At first we took Taxis but the Train is so much cheaper and goes everywhere. Not like our crappy transit system. This monster size spider web of a network goes everywhere. Because we were traveling off the main peak hours we did not get shoe horned in. We did notice that during rush hour they have 2 full cars devoted to "Women Only". I assume that keeps the perverts down to a minimum, unless you are a lesbian pervert.

I know why Japanese people are so thin. #3 they walk everywhere. #2 they hardly eat any processed food and the #1 reason is STAIRS. Accursed stairs! Everything is very compact in Toyko. All buildings have basements and upper levels. What they don't have is elevators and escalators. Old people were climbing stairs better than we were. It was funny and oh so sad. The larger stores that did have an escalator only had it going one way. The very large department stores had elevators. They were either packed with strollers or old people or both. I lost 10 pound in 10 days due to those three reasons. Hurray for shopping in Japan. Another factor for me might have been the lack of stress. I have not felt that good in a very long time.

Crazy Signs Crazy Signs After Death Sauce SM Gears, wink wink No Smoking Sign Trash Sign

The food was incredible. I was determined to try everything even if I had only one bite. The first few days we played it safe. Robin & Vence prefer American food and we managed to find some. I had the best fried shrimp dinner at TGI Fridays. (The TGI Fridays girl had on "Flair"). US food is kind of expensive. Not a lot of room to let cows run free. Sure we all had Tempura and Noodle bowls, but eventually Chris and I needed to try some scarier fare. Chris and I love Sushi so we made sure we had some 4 of the 10 days. At one yakatori place Chris ordered Quail eggs wrapped in bacon. We would have tried Sparrow, but it was out of season. The meals tended to have at least 4 sections, a main dish and much smaller bowls beside it. One place had some version of coleslaw. It was kind of like pickled seaweed? One place had a mushy ball of dough that I never did figure out. Many places had a single slice of fruit or tiny fruit cup. On our first day we wandered into grocery stores and noticed that Grapes were $8.00 and Melon was $39.00. Not all fruit was this expensive, but it helped us understand things right up front. Most local cuisine was inexpensive and abundant. Chris was happy to get a beer almost everywhere we went.

Our favorite place ended up being in the bottom of the Roppongi Hills Mall. There was a very nice restaurant that had Sushi on a conveyor belt. It was so cool. The Chefs were in the middle dicing away. All manner of sushi was within arms reach. Each time a patron would come in the Staff would call out something that we named, "Norm!" like in the TV show Cheers. The menu changed slightly each night. We had several different types of fish and shrimp. There was crab, eel, egg, fish egg and squid. One night they even had baby octopus. The plates were color coded to let us know how much an item cost. The waiter would scan a stack of plates and the machine would total up the bill all neat and tidy. It was all so delicious. It made me glad to be at the top of the food chain. I would get back on that horribly long flight just to eat there again. (I believe Pam would never leave). Sushi Roppongi Nights

We managed to get around the entire 10 days without speaking more than 9 Japanese words, all that worrying for nothing. We pointed a LOT. 99% of the menus had pictures. We got were we needed to go by reading Romanji at the Train stations. Only one Train station had the Kanji character type letters that we needed help with. Most people were either very busy or very curious. The curious wanted to help us even when we did not need it. We actually did get our photos taken just because we were Americans. We also ended up helping other English speakers.

We had a little trouble at stores. It is our own fault because we wanted to buy such specific things. Robin would point to her Tinkerbell keychain because they just could not figure out which Disney person she was after. I pointed to Jasmine. I bought a Lion King postcard to use because it isn't even called Lion King over there. The Japanese love: Ariel the Little Mermaid, Marie the cat, Cleo the fish, Nightmare Before Christmas and Disney Princesses as a group. They love Cell phone clips & straps. We really wanted cloisonn'e9 pins, but they don't dig them. We have Pin collecting and trading in the US, but they don't, waaah.

Apparently the Japanese are not lawsuit happy like we are in the US. They have warning signs up for many, but not all things. Chris spotted a gang of electric cords running down some stairs at the Mall. There was no sign. They just assume that if you are stupid enough to fall down the stairs because you were not looking where you were going...Oh Well!

Trashcans are a funny thing. I noticed that the streets were always very clean even when there was no trashcan to be seen for blocks. When we did find a trashcan it was subdivided in up to 4 sections: paper, plastic, cans & trash. They have recycling down pat!

Clothes, bags and shoes: Japan could be the fashion capital of the world if someone took out Paris. It is sadly true that a LL which is supposed to be XL is NOT. Chris bought a t-shirt and found out only I could wear it. The clothes were super expensive in most cases, but there were exceptions. They had clearance stores and re-sale shops in Harajuku. I bought Jazzy a skirt. It is supposed to fit an adult female, but I think it will fit her next year. Yikes. Fur Shoes Mannequin Bra Shop Harajuku Shopping View

SATURDAY Did a lot of shopping, duh! We found Consignment cubical stores. Very cool clear plastic cubes where people sold parts of their collections inside different shops. The sales person had to unlock each box that we wanted to look in. We kept one guy pretty busy because the cubes were on more than one floor.

SUNDAY We went to Harajuku both Sundays. The first Sunday we went in to the Mingeijingu Temple (I know I have spelled it wrong, sorry). It is directly behind the gathering of the girls. The place is huge. It seemed so drastically different once we stepped inside the massive gates. There were tall trees everywhere and soon I could not hear any car noises. It was like stepping into a time warp. The only thing that clued us in were the cool cameras everyone had and the occasional Harajuku girl walking by. We met a cute Harajuku girl named Sini from Norway visiting her sister. We were very privileged to see a wedding precession go by. Mingeijingu Arch Mingeijingu Temple Entrance 1 Mingeijingu Ceiling Details Mingeijingu Courtyard Mingeijingu Wedding Sini from Norway Sini from Norway

Stereotypes debunked. The Japanese people in Tokyo drive great. In fact, better than great, they are super. When something would occasionally happen everyone would go around. They would not slow down or stop to gawk like we do here in the US. Everyone drove a similar speed. The trucks did not crawl along. The bus drivers were da' bomb! Full size buses on tiny streets that would foil a San Diego Transit driver.

On Monday two bad things happened. The guys wandered off to amuse themselves while we shopped in this 8 story building. Lots of individual shops and most of them were toy related. It took us forever so naturally we had to use the bathroom. Unfortunately I found out about Squat Toilets. They are like a urinal in the floor that ladies squat over. Squat Toilet I am sure guys would not have a problem with this because God gave them an aiming device called a penis. Women are not built that way. Preparing for a squat is like the beach attack on Normandy. I had to plan it out. I needed to hang my purse & secure my packages. I needed to roll up my pant legs (I wear long jeans). I have a radius that could easily be split by a stray hair. I had to figure out the best way to position myself for maximum effectiveness. Several days of walking up stairs helped, plus the fact that women are naturally strong in their thighs. But lets face it holding up this much ass takes some work. I will just say that it came out all right. I only had to use a Squat twice and I am eternally grateful. The Ninja Bugs attacked us outside that building as we met up with the guys. I never got bit again, but I did not need to. That damn nibble stayed itchy for the entire rest of the trip. We had on bug repellent, but not at the places they bit us. Damn Ninja Bugs.

Never did find the used panties vending machine, but we did find the tired and guilty workers Toy vending machine. It had $20-$100 toys all ready for anyone to buy. Since they have $5 coins it would be no problem to use change or bills. We fell in love with the money. Most things were $1. We used a $1 coin and that was that. It is so convenient to have a pocket full of change that is actually worth something.

There were more Black people in Tokyo than there were in Colorado & Vermont combined. It is sad but true. They seemed to be from England & Jamaica judging by their accents.

Digital cameras are wonderful. I am so glad we had one on this trip. How does anyone widdle down their fondest memories? I had to take the 800 pictures from Japan and reduce it down to a size count useable in a blog. The first group of pics was easy, since they were not for public consumption. The next hundred were duplicates. That is one of the things I love about digital cameras. I can take 3 pics of the same thing and choose the best one later. This picture taking style is fine for a few pics, but sucks when I was faced with hundreds and hundreds of them. If you are keeping track I am now down to 500 pics. Somehow I managed to get that down to 153 pictures. Then I took those preview shots and did slow and painful crop & edit jobs on them. I then had only 80 pictures to help me retell the trip of a lifetime. Eighty pics seems like too many and not enough.

Stereotypes debunked. Japanese TV was not full of game shows where contests get tortured, dammit. I liked most of the crazy commercials better than the shows. MTV Japan is like ours used to be. They play videos and concert footage. It was wonderful! We heard so much music that we ended up buying a CD. I cannot tell you who they are because my keyboard doesn't type those symbols. I wanted more but CD's ran from $13-$30. We did not have enough language skills to find out why the jump in price? It could have been a dvd for all I know? Their sports channel was great! I saw stuff I have never seen. It was like ESPN 8 in the movie Dodge Ball. They had FIM which is an indoor motorcycle obstacle course. They were doing the impossible! Spain, France & Japan were in the top 10. They had several channels that speak French, like we have channels that speak Spanish.

TUESDAY We took the train to Disneyland Tokyo for the day. The park seemed eerily familiar. It is very much like Anaheim. They do not have as much space but they made the most of it with Space Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean, It's a Small World and the Jungle Cruise. The Jungle Cruise was the funniest for me. The Japanese park was not as sterilized and PC as the California park. The Jungle Cruise Lady would say her spiel in Japanese and then do a fake laugh or scream. It got funnier and funnier because it sounded like a badly dubbed movie. Then we got to the part of the ride where the black African natives are gonna kill the tour group and I say, "what do ya mean WE?'94 I had too much fun on that stupid ride. Disney Monorail Disney Entrance Disney Main Street

WEDNESDAY We went to Yokohama by train. They have a China Town there. The buildings were awesome gold incrusted red lacquer framed structures. The Chinese buildings seemed so loud compared to the tasteful Japanese things. I loved it. Yokohama Coke Machine

I was stopped on the sidewalk waiting for someone when a family walked by; a small boy in a baseball cap was trailing them. He was not paying attention at all. When his family suddenly stopped, he looked up at...me. I am glad I was looking down at him at the time because the look of childish shock on his face was too priceless! Of all the things he expected to see that day, a black woman smiling down at him sure as hell was not it! It was just the funniest thing.

While in Yokohama we found the SOGO Mall. It was a huge mall that felt like the Mall of America. It was not just spread out, but lots and lots of levels. Robin found a Disney store, Yeah.

Most evenings Robin and Vence would come back to the room after dinner and stay. Chris and I would go back out. In the evening we went Train Station Trolling again. This time we passed by the Caf�� Semen. (We don't have a picture darn it!) We ate at a little curry place that was delicious. It was supposed to be mild but my face turned red and stayed that way for a while.

THURSDAY Chris and I went on a day trip. We were going to the Engakuji Temple first and then to Kamakura where the Great Buddha is. Daibutsu seemed a short distance away from the temple so we decide to walk. We did realize it would be a good walk, but we did not realize the trick that was about to be played on us. Engakuji Temple was truly beautiful. The day was blazing hot but the many trees helped to shelter us. The many building were fabulous and so were the grounds. They have a lovely pond full of Coy and Turtles. There were lots of lizards and bugs in the area. The bugs moved too fast to take pictures of them but they were very vibrant. The Grasshoppers were GREEN! The Dragonflies were BLUE or RED or BLACK & WHITE! Just gorgeous! Engakuji Grounds Engakuji Dragon Engakuji Engakuji & I Engakuji Manhole Cover Engakuji Repair Water Lily Turtle Pond Pond 2

We got a bottle of water and headed out for Daibutsu. We eventually passed 4 small shrines to get to the Great Buddha. We passed the first on a mild upgrade. The trail was well marked and the map told us we were heading the correct way. There were a few other couples walking ahead of us and everything was going fine. Sunny Path Then the trail started to get a little dirty. The concrete was gone and a dirt & pebble path led the way. Darker Path After another while things started to go up. Straight up! The well-traveled path became narrow. Less and less people were around. A Japanese couple our age was ahead of us. At 2 rest stops we would catch up to them right before they left. They spoke a tiny bit of English and were very nice. View thru Trees Chris and I trudged a long for a very very long time. The path was narrower and the steps were partially formed by tree roots and dirt being packed down. As the walk went on and on and up and UP! I began to voice my concern and annoyance. Chris understands that my feet suck! I have the worst functional feet on earth! What neither of us knew was that I was on my way to see Julie Andrews in the MoFo ALPS!! The trees were thick around the path. We could see down the side a little. At one point I could see down at the very bottom of the MOUNTAIN a small graveyard. I commented to Chris that this was the place most people gave the fuck up and just jumped!! Thought about jumping I swear we walked for HOURS! I was so tired and angry that I could not see straight. My feet had moved past pain onto NUMB! We had ventured so far into this trek that we had no choice but to see it through. Dying Dying We made it to the rest stop and collapsed for a few minutes. Drank some water from the vending machine and talked to the couple. They moved on while Chris got our bearings. He made a sound effect that I did not like. It was some sort of hysterical grunt/laugh. Turns out we are NOT EVEN HALF WAY! @$#%& + @$#%& + @$#%& + @$#%& + @$#%& + @$#%& + @$#%& + @$#%&!!!! I then threatened Chris' life and he promised to make it up to me. I asked him how, since I would never make it? Fortunately we did make it. It was literally down hill from there. The down was almost as bad as the up. Someone took our picture and I tried my hardest to smile, but I was so over it. We finally get to street signs that say Daibutsu with little picture symbols of the Great Buddha. It says 300m, then 200m then 80m etc etc. We are so close. I am an emotional wreck I just want to cry (which I never do). I look like a crazy eyed American whose life has been drained. I keep walking like a zombie until we get to a new sign that says 180m. WTF? What the last sign did not say (in English) is "turn here". The look in Chris' eye was part disgust, horror & anger. He was really mad too, but he was busy trying to take care of me and checking to see if I had a knife in my hand. We walk back to a small entrance park, go around the hedge and there it is. The Great Buddha is HUGE! I have no idea how the trees had hidden it so well. The story on the Great Buddha is that the original temple was washed away on a Sunami, but the Great Buddha was too heavy to budge. I can honestly say that I was too angry to appreciate and enjoy the Great Buddha like I had planned to. All I wanted to do was flip the bastard off for fucking with me. Lying Buddha Buddha Big Buddha

After that we had to eat. We had set out early in the morning and it was 2p.m. We had some super yummy sushi in a bowl. It was just a little Mom & Pop shop but damn it was good. She made the wasabe ball into a cute little leaf of death. We then proceeded South (I think). It was about 8 blocks total until we ran into a train station. Two blocks more was the beach & ocean. That'92s right we could have just caught the damn train but noooooooooooo we had to hike it up the side of Mt Fuji. The train station is at the very top of the map. It is a white rectangle with a question mark inside. It was about 10 blocks from Buddha. The map does not represent distant in a logical manner of any kind. Lying No Good Piece of Crap Cute Map

FRIDAY We went shopping at Shinjuku station for a few hours. At one end was a full mall but I prefer underneath. The mall wanted $40 for a shirt and the station wanted $10. Too bad all the shirts are too small for us. I had a Canada Dry Pineapple Fizz from a vending machine. It is a tasty pineapple soda! I wish I had one right now. I was so burned out from Kamakura yesterday that I went back to the room early to crash. No 10-hour shopping day for me this time. Subway Art

SATURDAY We took a taxi to Nakano to see Broadway Center. Igrrl had sent Robin an email tip about going there. It was a covered outdoor marketplace that led to a 5 story mall at one end. The mall included my favorite store, the 100 Yen Store. We bought a lot of stuff at the 100 Yen Store. It is similar to a 99 cent store, but with cool Japanese crap in it. Unfortunately the place did not fully open until 11:30 or 12:00. The place was fun for us girls. We spent 6 hours there. I bought shoes for Princess J since nothing there would fit my feet.

SUNDAY The kids called us at 7:45a.m. I think they miss us as much as we miss them. For some freaky reason MTV is playing super old videos of Madonna and Rick Ashley. We went to Ueno to shop. We bought a large duffle bag to add in my toy cramming ability. When we were down we headed back to Harajuku.

HARAJUKU GIRLS US Goth girls should bow down and weep at the feet of the Harajuku Girls. The Japanese get the Goth vibe like no one else. There were a decent amount of guys out there also, maybe 1/4 or 1/5. Harajuku Girls Harajuku Girls 2 Harajuku Girls 3 Harajuku Girls 4 Harajuku Girls 5 Harajuku Girls 6

MONDAY - The flight back In the morning we had our last breakfast with a view. Sadly it was never clear enough to get a shot of Mt Fuji. We tried to give the employees a tip, but they were reluctant. A tip is included in all pricing and is just a natural part of the service you receive. We ended up giving them baseball caps from Comic-Con. We came with 3 suitcases & 2 duffle bags and left with 4 suitcases & 3 duffle bags. We left behind at least a duffles worth of clothes. Chris planned it that way. Once again the Bus Driver impressed us with his mad skills. Leaving the country was pretty painless, considering the amount of stuff. Suitcases Full of Toys

MONDAY - The Arrival Was not painless. There was a great deal of confusion when we arrived at LAX. Three planes had arrived at the same time and the lady directing traffic had a thick Filipino accent. It took me all of 3 minutes to start a fight with a group that was trying to cut in line, a Super long Disneyland snake of a line. It took about 30 minutes, but felt like an hour. Then we had to get our luggage and get in ANOTHER line. A perfectly nice man insisted on eyeballing us and letting us go with out a single question. SWEET! We called Park Place and they said the Shuttle would be there to get us in 15 minutes. All we wanted was to get Robin's car and drive home. We could not take a taxi because the address is not even on the receipt. There we stood watching shuttle after shuttle go by, dozens of them. None of them were Park Place. Chris called them and they did the usual song and dance. Later the lady from inside the Airport who let us use her phone, came out, saw us and let us use the phone again. She works for the Airport in some capacity, but all I know is she talked to the shuttle people "firmly". 10 minutes later, that is 40 total, the shuttle started driving by. I was flagging it down. I almost stepped in front of it. The guy was not going to stop. He was full. Before I could rip him a new one Chris took over. He said we will stand, just get us out of here. We did.

Chris had brought home some Japanese jolt juice, Coffee in a can. He needed it for the long drive home from LAX to SD. We were flying just before the whole UK "no liquids" panic began. We made it home safely. We sort of unpacked and went to get the kids. Remember my kids in the pool out to Poway? No one wore any sunscreen and they each were so badly burned and peeling that my Mother was pissed off. The kids were actually in pain by the time they got to her a few days later. I am glad it is a few more weeks until school because they look like freaks. My sister-in-law did ask them about sunscreen repeatedly, but they said they did not need any because I do not put it on them. Technically this is correct. My kids rarely see a pool and when they do it is for 2 hours max. They stayed in the pool at her house for 10 hours straight for 2 days. OUCH! They all learned a valuable lesson.

Apparently Jet Lag has a formula. For every time zone you pass it will take you that many days to return back to normal. I knew we had passed the International dateline, but I had not thought about time zones. We passed 15! This explains why we were so jacked up. We could not sleep or think properly and it is just a real pain in the keyster. But it was TOTALLY worth it! JAPAN ROCKS!